How to become a Debutante?

Friday: May 19th, 2017.

A debutante (UK /ˌdɛbjuːˈtɑːnt/, /ˌdeɪbjuːˈtɑːnt/) or deb (from the French débutante, "female beginner") is a girl or young woman of an aristocratic or upper-class family who has reached maturity and, as a new adult, comes out into society at a formal "debut". Originally, the term meant the woman was old enough to be married, and part of the purpose of her coming out was to display her to eligible bachelors and their families with a view to marriage within a select circle.

A debutante tends to be the daughters of some of the world's wealthiest families. Or families who are able to bring sponsorship in, or at least get help to become a debutante.

These young women from around the world, ranging in age from 16 to 25, are selected to be debutantes at the International Debutante Ball, held every two years in New York City, to formally present themselves to society. While in the past these balls were used to find potential suitors for the young women, they are now mainly used for networking. In movies or shows you would hear of a debutante ball just for ball room dancing, a young women shown off into todays society. It was never known as a New York City dance, in movies it would be held through country clubs, different organizations in society. But not in the movies, it is known for the International Debutante Ball.

Margaret Hedberg is the director and general chairman of the International Debutante Ball, which is held at the luxurious Waldorf Astoria hotel. Her aunt founded the ball 60 years ago, and it remains a high society tradition. “Debutante Ball is a celebration of a lot of people getting together to celebrate their daughters’ sort of entrance into the adult world,” she said. Hedberg is in charge of selecting the girls who will be chosen as debutantes. The process takes about a year, and Hedberg and her team receive recommendations from ball committee members, past debutantes and their families, as well as from committees of smaller debutante balls. “How many girls you have and what places are being represented this year, it’s very arbitrary,” Hedberg said. “Some years it’s got a lot of Texans, some years a lot more Connecticut. It’s just the way it is.”(abc news)

Once invited, the young women and their families spend tens of thousands of dollars to attend the ball. The entry fee alone is $17,000 for one table. They then have to pay for travel and their stay at the Waldorf -- Hedberg say the girls and their families stay for about a week to attend “warm-up” events, smaller parties for everyone to get to know each other. Each girl is also required to wear a white princess-style gown and long white satin gloves for the big night -- a deep-rooted tradition. When asked why the girls have to wear white, Hedberg said, “back in the days of the robber barons and the Gilded Age, I think it was a very expensive thing... I think that the purity quality back in the old day was part of it.”(abc news)

A month prior to the ball, the girls attend “bachelor brunch,” where they can mingle with an assortment of escorts, many of which are young men from Ivy League universities or military schools, to find one for the ball.  It is only if you do not have a date to bring along to the ball. If you can not find one, you can be set up with someone to take you.

There is plenty of different girls from all over making their big debut at the ball.

There are a lot of activities, including a mother-daughter brunch, dance rehearsals, parties, and of course the ball. Most young women are already very busy with school activities, community service projects, exams, mission trips, etc., so the debutante society’s get-togethers are social and fun.

If you want to be invited you have to get your name out there, sponsor them, figure out how to come with up with the income to get there.

Once a ceremony designed to showcase girls who became of marriageable age, today's debutante ball is now used to help young girls connect with powerful social figures and get positive press to help launch their careers. Though not all debutante balls are exclusive as they once were, not just anyone can attend a debutante ball. If you want your daughter to get an invitation to one of these, you will need to pay a significant fee and show some social or familial connections.

Prove your family lineage. Some balls are open only to descendants of certain family lines. For example, the Saint Nicholas Society Ball is only open to members, and membership is only given to those who are descendants of residents of New York before 1785. Once that is proven, another member has to invite you to be a member. The Mayflower Ball is only open to those who can show they are descendants of a passenger on the Mayflower ship, which landed in Plymouth in 1620.

Network with influential members of society. Some balls, such as the International Debutante Ball, have more open membership policies, but you have to know someone who can recommend you. One way to do that is to network with prominent members of society. Attend high-level corporate functions within your business, join influential social organizations in your community, or volunteer on the board of a local nonprofit or educational group. The more people you know, the better your chances.

Increase your own social profile. Debutante balls recognize wealth and status. You have many ways to raise your social profile, such as increasing your rank in your company, opening your own business, getting press for a personal or professional project, and attending parties hosted by influential people.

Pay the fee. Admission to a debutante ball can cost thousands of dollars. "Gotham Magazine" says that it costs $17,000 per table for the International Debutante Ball. It can cost up to $25,000 to attend the Saint Nicholas Society Ball. The money gets you a certain number of tickets to the ball and admission to other related events, such as networking brunches and receptions. Most of the balls contribute a significant amount of the money they charge to a charitable organization.

Just some fun facts for anyone interested in becoming a Debutante or going to any balls in general.

Stay tuned <3

Jackie Kensey XX