In Loving Memory of Mac Miller

Monday: September 10th, 2018.

"Enjoy the best things in your life
cuz you ain't gonna get to live it twice."

We recently lost a beloved, talented, beautiful soul known was Mac Miller, born Malcom James Mccormick. A rapper, singer, jazz artist, producer and even had his own tv show from 2013-2014 known as Mac Miller and The Most Dope Family. 

I remember hearing Knock-Knock and jamming out to this song with my friends and saying who is this guy? Mac Miller? Whose he? And I found myself stalking him all over the internet to find out anything I could. And uploading pictures of him everywhere, downloading his music and rewatching his music videos over and over. Everyone knew I was OBSESSED.



I stayed following him, song after song, putting posters up in my room of him and telling everyone he was my boyfriend and future husband. I even wore his merchandise. Everything was Mac Miller at this point. I thought he was the hottest guy ever. And I found out he was from Pittsburgh and a huge sports fan. I'm from Philly but I was always a Steelers fan so finding out he loved the Steelers too knew that this was meant to be.
  
I'd watch interviews over and over anything he was on and you could tell he had that personality to just make a person laugh, was real and honest and there for everyone, loved by anyone who knew him.

In 2012, I planned our wedding and even made a face in hole photo dedicated to it and people at first thought the photo was real, I was so hype. I told everyone we a-loped and that he did not want the paparazzi ruining the wedding. It was a "spur of the moment" kind of thing. 


Senior Skip Day

He was everything.

His music was there for me when no one else was, album after album, he touched my soul. They say music is food for the soul and his was for me. He just loved music and did not care if anyone listened or not and we did we listened and made him feel something that people wanted to listen and I never stopped.


He was honest with his lyrics, open about his addiction, relationships, depression what he was struggling with and was honest with us who were listening and some things we can relate too. "I been having trouble sleeping, battling these demons, wondering what's the thing that keeps me breathing, is it money, fame or neither?" I felt that.

Anyone who listened to him felt his touch, he was everyones friend growing up. He was everyones go to artist to listen to. Music to the car ride, to a party, anything. It was always MAC MAC MAC. It was the one person people could agree to listen too. He had everyone screaming "Smoke weed, Eat Yogurt."
From Kids, Blue Slide Park, Macadellic, Best Day Ever, everything. "The WAY" Single. He kept evolving and evolving, music changing at Watching Movies with the Sound Off, his vibe was epic. He had his Jazz Persona Larry Lovestein and kept going with Faces, and some more singles, The divine Feminine, GO:OD AM, more to where we are with Swimming. And he still wasn't finished and that is why all of us Mac fans who grew up with him are so distraught because, he was not done. His gift was not finished with...

In 2013, I went to the watching movies album tour mac and meek. I was 16 and stood in line ALL DAY for Mac in the heat dressed a little bit much just to see him and get up front. I got so close to the front I got to take photos up close and the best concert I've ever been to until this day. I even threw my bra at him on stage and he caught it. I bought a bra just to give him. That's how much dedication I had for him.

   
 I WENT ALL OUT FOR MAC
 

Objects in the Mirror - Live Sessions


I kept making plans to see him again from his meet and greet at Franklin Mills the same time as my nieces party, to his GO:OD AM tour and Divine Feminine tour. I also legit would try to get my parents to take me to different states to try to see him like at the House of Blues. I was so obsessed and got to see him during Watching Movies and I finally was going to see him again for Swimming, I bought tickets for GA and was upgrading to VIP Meet and Greet this was it November 20th, 2018.

He even had his own show "Mac Miller and The Most Dope Family" On MTV2 on Tuesday nights that I watched religiously! It only lasted two seasons but I still watched every minute of it and that is when Larry Lovestein came to play, his jazz persona where he even released an EP under that name and it was amazing.


  
Childish Gambino paid a tribute to Mac Miller at his show in Chicago and said "I feel good about being sad, it tells me that he was special and I had a special moment." I completely agree with what he says because Mac Miller impacted my life and touched my soul like no one else ever has.

I truly have not been able to move on from this, this is not something you can just move on from, it has been a long weekend of mourning over the loss of this beautiful human. He was a life, a soul, an artist, a family member, a friend, and so much more and that is something i'll never be able to get over. Someone that will not be producing more music, videos, tours, someone that was so talented with so much potential, an unfinished artist only 26 with so much more to give. He wanted to change the world, and he did by impacting and touching so many lives but he had so much more to give. He was still evolving every day and maybe that is why I can't just move on, he had his whole life ahead and so much more to share with us.

I even started to date my current boyfriend in 2013 because he reminded me of Mac Miller, we called him BMAC, he looked like him. I told him he was hot like my Mac Miller. I had my own.

I am truly upset over the death of Mac Miller because I grew up on him. He had been and always will be my celebrity crush since middle school, I fell so deep for him. And that’s how me and my boyfriend started to date because I would say he was hot like him lol, they resembled each other. I’ve seen Mac miller live in concert even front row! Basically felt like I was meeting him. There was never an album, song, nothing that I never listened to. I went from audio mix tapes, music videos, tv show, interviews, anything to watch him and always watch. It felt like I knew him. I even bought tickets to go meet and see him again November 20th, 2018 in Philly. And to honestly say I loved a celebrity like I knew him as a friend is so true, I have very deep for my feelings for him. And I’ve never been so upset over a celebrity death until Macs. September 7th, 2018. I broke down crying in public over the news. I have been waiting for someone to say this was a joke and for him to pop out like "I'm not dead just call me Larry Fisherman now." And still, three days have passed and nothing. I am heart broke, I am hurt and I'll miss him dearly. I'll never stop praying for him. And I’m so sorry to him, his family, friends, and loves. Rest Easy Mac. I hope you’re in a better place, you're up there singing dancing continuing tiny desk concerts in the sky. My heart is so heavy. And I’m so so sorry):
 
  

Rest In Peace Dear Friend and I'll never stop loving and praying for you. May you live on forever. You touched my soul and I'll be forever grateful for that and you. Just some crazy ass kids knocking at the f-in door. And now you're swimming in heaven. LOVE YOU FOREVER MAC MILLER ! 

LOVE, JACKIE KENSEY XX

RIP MAC MILLER <3

"SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!!"